I just noticed that my ankle has gotten pretty fucked up. when i was applying the lubricant on my ankle, i looked at it and saw the damn bruise..its pretty bad..my ankle basically has no shape right now. its like an alien ankle. cant even see the ankle bone. this is really gonna take a long time to heal. fuck this. i hate ankle sprains. id rather bust my head open and go to hospital. at least i'd still be able to skate after.
i hate staying home. i hate doing nothing at home. im trying my best to be a lil bit more productive at home but i can't. cause i'm thinking about stuff constantly. i dont knowwww..i just want things to go back to normal. like last time. my life right now really sucks. 2010 is really screwing my life up. _|_
I wish things would go back to when it was just me,friends,skateboarding,fun and of course, her. when there was nothing bothering my mind. Maybe the hardest things to get back are actually some of the simplest things in life.
8====B
Saturday, January 30, 2010
E.E \m/
WOOOOHOOOOOO!!! 2 Sprained ankles in 2 weeks, back to back!!! how great is that?! FUCK!!!! First my right ankle..Now its my left ankle..Is Kurt Angle's spirit fucking stalking me or something?? and giving me bloody ass ankle locks?! gah!
Great..so now i've to waste away another week or so..cant skate anymore..but nevermind..there's always a treasure behind every challenge..be positive! lol. i hope i heal fast..i already miss skating..haha..
nevermind..one day i will achieve my dream of ..something..haha..btw, freaky stuff happened again! yay! lol. 12am,i'm at my door. gate is locked behind me. opened the door. its dark inside the house. i take off my shoes. bent down to pick them up and i heard a kid laughing in my right ear.. =.=" awesome huh ? i got fuckin scared and ran like a crazy shit into the house. saw the kids. they didnt laugh or anything. they were bz watching tv. soooo..who laughed?? i dont know.. god knows.. why me? always me? =(
and ive got a flu now also..plus a headache..life is peachy..mofo..LOL
8====B
Thursday, January 28, 2010
holding out for someone. reaching as far as i can with my tiny hands. Across oceans and grasslands. Grab my hand please,before i fall back into the ocean of solitude.
I dont know, but i just feel like somethings wrong. my mind is not at rest. somethings banging on the inside of my brain. its screaming inside. but i dont know what it is. skateboarding always helps me forget about stuff. but then it will come back again. i know for certain that unless i resolve the screaming in my head,my mind will never be at rest.
P.S: Get well soon. Ik Hou Van Jou. ^^
8====B
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
My arms are really trembling as im typing all this. Never did i think something like this would've happened. i gave u my heart. i believed in you. i guess now its time u believed in me. please have some faith in me. yesterday, i told you something that i find extremely hard to say. i opened up to you. because i knew that i could say everything to you. cause i love you. you know that i would never do anything to hurt you. i care about u so much. all this is just a misunderstanding. i swear i dont have any feelings for that girl or as a matter of fact,any other girl thats not a part of my family. you are the one i care about most. you are the one that i would risk everything to just see a smile. i'd give anything just to turn that frown into a smile. u can look into it yourself if u dont believe me. just look at our wall to wall. i never ever said i loved her. or even that i liked her. cause all thats in my heart and mind is you. yes you. Lena. and i know that you're hurting right now. im really2 sorry. if only you could see how sorry i am. a greatest fear of mine is to lose someone that i love and care about alot. and right now. that fear is haunting and creeping over me. Maybe i dont mean that much to you. but you mean Everything to me. I love you Lena. im sorry. pls have faith in me. in us.
8====B
Monday, January 25, 2010
I miss weekend skateboarding..ahhhh..ankle please please please heal!!
I think i've been playing too much Left 4 Dead. Cause i'm starting to have dreams of zombie kills. Hell,even killing freakin witches. hahahahaha! but i just got owned just now in my dream by some random vampire. yes. vampire. how gay is that? thats like some twilight shit right there. and i dont even watch twilight. ahahah. i wanna play Left 4 Dead 2. I need to go to City Square and buy that. =.=" Crap, i've got a medical checkup at jurong clinic coming up this tuesday.
8====B Sail away from the shoreline
Friday, January 22, 2010
3.35pm right now..im super bored..my eyes are really droopy. i wanna sleep badly but whenever i try to sleep,i can't. wtf is with my brain right now? seriously. i need to sleep. im turning into a half zombie as im typing this. i can close my eyes will be sleeping but the rest is still awake. they have their own life. O.o hahaha. seeeee..noww im crapping around again. imma go with the flow and continue my shit right now.. haha..
I have a bunch of people i look up to. i'll put them up..not in order though..yea..im bored..so..ok..hahaha.. XD
-Mum and Dad. They are legit my heroes. no doubt. -Jackie Chan. Cause he is deadly and funny at the same time. =D haha!
-Buckethead. Cause of the raw emotions he put into his music. he needs no words to express his music. he is just pure awesomeness. My guitar idol for sure. Take me as ur apprentice buckethead!!! hahaha. ^^
-Bruce Lee. This bloody guy has been in my head since i was a kid. who can forget? he influenced us so much that even till now,whenever we strike a martial arts move, we'll go like " WATAAAA!!!" hahahaha! right3? Bruce Lee was probably one of the baddest mofo that everlived. dont mess with the Dragon. hahaha!
-And of course theres others...like power rangers..err..yea..haha..the baker boys and deathwish team. =)
but ohhh. This girl here..words just cant describe enough what i think about her..u'll have to rip out my heart and project the thoughts from my brain onto a big ass white screen. then u'll get the absolute answer. =D But if i were to try and explain as detailed as possible right now, she's my heart,soul, my everything. my bundle of joy. I dont have to say that she's beautiful,cause thats really2 obvious..well at least to me of course. i dont give a damn what u might think of her. lol. anw,with her, i dont really need to have her right smack in front of me to feel the love, cause i can already feel it. Though if she were in front of me,i'd smile like some crazy psycho. cause she makes me that happy.. haha.. =D Next time if we go on cam,lets talk k k k k k k k ??? =DDDDD hahaha..i love ur cute voice.. <3333333>
8====B
Thursday, January 21, 2010
AAHHH!! Bored at homeee..solution? Kill Lady Gaga Songs!!! HAHAHAHHAH!! naahh..kidding..i just did this for fun..hope u guys like it..whoever it is that reads my blog anyway..hahah..Bad Romance and Paparazzi.. LOL
I did a reallyyyy sloppy job on paparazzi..haha..i know.. but yea..was just screwing around .. heh xD
8====B
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
been 3 days since i sprained my ankle..got a "death massage" from my dad last night. the reason i call it that is cause whenever he massages my ankle,its like he wants to kill me by torturing my ankle..hahah..anw, its pretty swollen. cant walk that easily. i really want it to heal faster. cause i miss skating like bloody hell. dammit. shouldn't have skated before syamil came that day. else i would've been injury-free. !@^%^@#$!@#!! been staying at home all the while. what have i been doing at home ? been doing guitar covers..yes im that bored..but hey,i might as well work on my guitaring since i can't skate. dont waste my time doing nothing at home. .there a bunch i put up on fb. yes. i was that bored. hahahah!
Oh, i swear webcamming with lena is the best! haha. cause she's crazy and adorable. dancing around and making silly faces. thats just what i love about her. she just knows how to make me laugh. yeaaaa..i know what u guys are thinking..ure like "yea yea. last time u said the same tihng about some other girl." But seriously though..she's really different from any girl i've known. and im so happy i got to know her.
and 2 days ago, she was looking mighty adorable. only been 2 days and i already miss her. haha. but yea. she's awesome. i will wait for that one very day when we'll see eye to eye. =)
8====B
Thursday, January 14, 2010
8.05am. not sleeping. insomniac much? haha.
life update: I wont be staying in yishun anymore for now. i'll be staying back in my house in JB. hell,there are quite a number of reasons actually. first of all, family conflict. which truly doesn't bother me much. secondly, bitch-mouth auntie that keeps badmouthing me for doing nothing wrong. plus badmouthing my family too. which really ticks me off. third but most importantly, im staying her cause of my mum. She's sick. she's been sick for a really long time. and when i came to visit her afew days back,she seemed so happy. just seeing my mum smile is a good enough blessing for me. mum wants me to stay here with her. how could i say no? after all that she's sacrificed for me,i don't think staying with her is such a big hassle. so yea. im staying here with her. i hope she gets well soon. and if anyone is like "mann. what a mummy's boy. pussy." i just have this to say to you. when your mum is probably sick and yearning for their child(you) to stay with them,please say a big fat NO to them. cause u dont be a mummy's boy or girl right? =D
and oh,if you're wondering how im online, im using a mobile broadband modem. ^^ i feel at home in this place. my bloody ps2 is here too! and im playing resident evil:Dead Aim. i know its really old. i bought it when i was umm. 13? but didnt play the game. hahaha! 7 years over man! hahahah! and i finally get to play guitar hero again. muahaha. and yes! i miss skating. alot.
8====B
Sunday, January 10, 2010
I don't feel like posting out about my day today. not cause it was a bad day or whatsoever. it was great. but i'm just not in the mood to post about my day. Its cause lately i've been thinking much about my life. and i'm really not that pleased with my life. everything is all gone haywire. everything is in a mess. I'm sorry if all this sounds really gay and all that. but this is where i've decided to let out what i need to. I wish i could just down some magical pills or whatever that would make me forget everything that has happened. Yea,i'm all smiles and jingles when everyone sees me,but the reality is that im just as broken inside as any other human being out there. My parents have not been staying in the same house as me, since god knows when. All cause of the conflict between them and my auntie. this is all just my shit luck. and i've thought through about moving to another country once i can afford to. and yea i'll obviously bring my parents along to wherever im going to. i dont care if they want to or not. theyre coming along. they deserve a better life somewhere. hey,after all that sacrifice for me, its the least i could do to repay them. im probably goin to somewhere where there are 4 seasons. maybe korea? somewhere in europe? or..maybe dubai? someday, somehow, i'll get there. again, my apologies for a sappy post. its not wrong for me to get in touch with emotions once a while right? i'm human after all.
and i'm still wondering if she's really serious about all this. cause i don't wanna get stuck in a half-hearted relationship. like yea. i know im not the most good looking guy out there....ok scratch that. i'd be happy to even get a 1/2 star rating. cos im that shitty ass looking. yea. im not some greek god. but yea, if she's serious, i'd probably be one lucky asian bastard and be really2 happy. happy wont quite explain how i'd feel. but still. i have yet to know. when i'll know? im not sure. i dont want it to end like this. no. not now. not yet. not ever.
8====B
Saturday, January 9, 2010
JIM GREC BEEYATCH!
Today is my "wet day." Wanna know whyyyyy?? becauseeeee. went to Eunos to skate and then freakin rained after we skated for like 15 mins or so. skated to shelter and the rain got heavier, making my deck wet. my deckkk!! i hate getting my deck wet. drench me but not my deck pleaseeee.. my preciousss~~ chilled at the shelter,watch a few "Game of S.K.A.T.E"s . got hungry,went to Mac to eat. Yay! Twister fries ftw bitches! hahaha! then me and rushman kept making bob disgusted with his Milo Mcflurry. 4 simple words: 2 Girls,1 Cup. HAHAHAHAHA! then skated with rushman at "eunos berrics" which is just beside Mac,while bob went to help the others dry up the skatepark with newspapers. hahaha. *my fingers are getting tired of typing* went back to the skatepark that was still wet, and waited fr it to dry up. which it barely did. as always, we session the flatbar. cause thats what we usually go there for. haha. and as the night went on. my luck got..wet.. my deck went into puddles..for like..idk..5 times?? fuck mannnn.. my deck is like a cat..it hates water! hahaha.. and if getting my deck wet was not enough. i had to bail and fall into a puddle myself. =.= Epic. LOL! ok then went home. yes! im done! woohoo! im getting freakin lazy to blog. i wish i had machine fingers of doom. so i can type like iron man..wait.does iron man blog? HAHA! ok wtf shut up. bye bye!
My auntie and uncle are fighting again. gah. why do i have to be here when all this happens? I'm usually the i don't care type of person but in this case, i really feel sorry for my uncle. cos he has a two faced wife that can't shut her yap. ok maybe there is a way to shut it. Stuff it with money. cause thats probably what makes her stfu. I hate being in the middle of a conflict. but what am i to do? im stuck her anyways till my parents can find another place for me to live.
Pretty much stoned my whole day away. awesome. legs are sore from skating the past few days. i feel like getting a job..bt then i want a job i will enjoy doing and not dread waking up to. haha.
oh and something creepy sorta happened to me last night. i took a shower at 2am and washed my clothes. yeah. at 2am. stupid. i know. haha! so blabla went out to hang them. yes. hang clothes to dry at 2am. =.= hhahah! okok. so while i was hanging the shits, i felt some cold wind pass. oh plus it was utterly quiet. no one was out. i was really alone. so yea cold wind. i gt goosebumps. and for some freakin reason, i felt someone watching me and i kept looking up at the trees and the top of buildings. like i was expecting to see something,probably in white looking at me. yea! fuckin stupid. if someone is scared, they wouldnt search fr that goddamn thing right? haha.im weird. LOL. went back into the house and washed my feet. all is well. i think. o.O muahahaha! i wish i had a ghostbuster trap thingy. haha!
P.S: Some 34 year old WOMAN. PLEASE NOTE: WOMAN! NOT GIRL! added me on tagged. what the buck. im not approving. hahaha!
8====B
I'm goin to sleep now. i love you. i hate waking up.
8====B
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Just got back home. Skated with Danial at queenstown today. Fun ber?! hahaha! sorry,inside joke. lol. Reached queens and danial was already waiting for me. skate skate skate and felt that something was wrong with my trucks. checked, 2 nuts on one side are missing. =.= so it went wobbly. haha. had to go to margaret drive. then we skated there also. until "koston" came. then it became abit weird. cause that is like his 2nd home maybe.he's good. lol. but abit like "sombong." hahaha. but who am i to judge. i just wanna sk8. went back to queens. tried to get our ledge tricks constant. =) at 7.15pm, danial had to go to work and i was left with 2 others. one guy from sabah called "Eunos" that stays at east coast. isn't it kinda funny? eunos in east coast. LOL! k im lame i know. hahahaha! then one by one they left and by 7.45pm i was left alone. creepy? kinda. but there were joggers from time to time. soooo. its ok i guess. haha. ouhhh. my tshirt was so drenched i had to take it off. since nobody was at the skatepark.. muahaha! and after 5mins of skating half naked, my body was so dry..and cold.. >.<
8====B
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Listening now: Another Song For The Weekend - ADTR
2.30 am and im not asleep. reason is cause i already slept just now. soooo..i have enough sleep. lol. anyways, probably gonna go skate at queenstown alone later,if danial is not joining. I'm really bored. nowadays its been raining heavily. =.= must be cause of all the snow around the world. fuck. i wish singapore had snow. but nooooo..instead we're located on the belt of this earth. freakin equator. we are freakin equator freaks. hahaha.
OH! DANG! u guys have to watch this! look at the starting! epic face!! hahahahaah!
8====B
Monday, January 4, 2010
So recently i've received friend request from a bunch of people on fb and other sites. i kinda have this policy where i don't really approve "mats and minahs." haha. unless i'm really tired and super lazy to look at their faces. lol. sooo. there's been a number of times recently where i see a pic of a girl right. and she looks okay. looks like a fun person to be friends with. oh im not hoping to make any of them my gf mind you. hahaha. okok. so yea. they look fine and dandy. But after approving them, check out their photos and see the horrible truth. SIAAALLAAAAAA!! BULU KENING NIKE!! Adidas,Reebok, all types of kening(eyebrows) mannn. wtf?! i have been decieved. hahahaha! but there are also cases where foreigners add me up. and when i say foreigners,i mean like people who are staying in other countries, like America, United Kingdom etc etc. these people are really fun to be friends with,cause they are like a totally different kind of people. unlike us. u can't really expect what's gonna come up as the next topic. Plus you get to learn about their life and all that other stuff. thats why i like having overseas friends. so im off now.
oh btw, i know this blog isn't read by many or maybe not even read by anyone at all. but i don't really care cause my life is not about being read,it's about being written. ^^ peace.
8====B
Sunday, January 3, 2010
So i guess i owe hakim,khairul and ahmad an apology. Especially Khairul.. cause i didn't attend his sisters wedding, which he invited me to. Sorry guys. and to hakim,sorry i didnt notice u calling me at night and in the morning. I turned in early last night. and my hp was on silent. but i woke up in the morning when my dad came back home. so went online,did some shits which took about 5 mins and went back to slp. and i slept all the way to 5pm. im not ignoring u guys. seriously. if i was ignoring u guys, why would i call hakim back after i woke up and saw all the missed calls? I even didn't go out and sk8 with the guys. i never ignore my skate buds or in this case, do not RSVP them. Reason: i slept and slept and slept. im very tired. i dont know why. so if u guys still think im ignoring u guys, suit yourself. it would really be a shame if the years of friendship can be smashed just with one misunderstanding. but im sorry anyways.
8====B
Friday, January 1, 2010
Skate at queens with Rushman and bob today. first at queenstown skatepark and then off to Go Sports. haha. fun dayy overall. oh before skating me and rushman went to Far East looking fr a board. since mine already had pressure cracks and stuff. yes! i have found my DEATHWISH! muahahaha!! wth..hahaha..
but something sad happened while skating. look at it and u will understand. haha.
Muka mantain ah brah! LOL!!!
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ASSHOLEY
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